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  • Heather Vest

Break the Cycle

Are you overly- critical of yourself or feel as though you never quite measure up? People prone to these ideas often possess a very punitive superego. This usually derives from adverse childhood experiences where we were shamed, starved of nurturance and healthy feedback, or endured an authoritarian style of parenting. This frame of thought leaves the individual feeling insecure due to a low self- worth thus leading to maladaptive behaviors that can ultimately lead to destruction. For instance, the individual might gravitate toward co- dependent relationships or continue running back to unhealthy relationships that feed their longingness to self- sabotage. Others might be so submissive in circumstances that involve petty or arbitrary rules as they lack assertiveness to question the way things are to be done.


As you can image, this way of thinking will likely cause cognitive dissonance, for conflicting feelings/thoughts. The person rationally understands: “This atmosphere is unhealthy for me” but the person continues to return to the circumstance. To break this cycle, the individual must confront the circumstances that led to this thinking. Then, and only then, will the individual be able to identify the need to change their behavior and make upcoming decisions based on the future they long for.

#growthmindset #loveyourself

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